It’s that time of the year when all Jai and I want to do is lay on the couch underneath heavy blankets, with a fire in the background, and wish she knew how to cook dinner.
When I say ‘cook’, I mean open packaging. I’m letting my stove biodegrade into mouse habitat, as nature intended. Cooking is for people with families who have expectations beyond kibble. My family is on all fours these days. Their expectations are more When, not What. They will eat anything. Really. It’s disheartening to buy expensive treats only to watch the gusto with which Biz consumes coyote shit.
I WISH I had raised my children on a kibble, by the way. I mean a high quality crunchy pellet – not Old Roy or anything. They should make a kibble for kids. Kiddle. Taste of the Wild, maybe, featuring a feral looking toddler, crashing through the brush to get at a bowl of brown nougats that claim to include bison, carrots and …peanut butter? Or Duck, Sweet Potato and Ice Cream.
A complete meal. In a bag. As I like.
That’s the stuff I think about on the couch with Jai.
Biz and Duke want to be worked. I need to run. It’s snowing,
I can hardly wait until June.