Last night Lavon applied a stern unwaxed basque eyebrow to my reluctance to work dogs.

I was in a bad mood and wanted to shop instead. I hate shopping, but thought it might be a great way to blow off some aggression – load up a cart full of crap and speed down the aisles of Costco while people stumbled and flew to get out of my way.  Search out samples, manhandle soft things, sneer my way around the cheesy mass-marketed book section until I'd had enough and then grab a beer somewhere dank and bitch about how much shopping I have left to do.  It was My Plan.

Though I have promised myself that I'll train even just a little, each day, I did not feel strong or focused enough to work a dog.

Christmas is not my season.

"You should work Jack right quick!"  Lavon said.  He says things like 'Right Quick' and 'Plum Full'…I like it. It amuses me into submission.


Lavon set the sheep at one end of his big field, and I sent Jack from the other. Jack raced down, lifted nicely, and then meandered out at a 45 degree angle as the sheep ran all the way back to the barn, out of sight.  I stood in the middle of the field yelling a single obscenity and glaring downfield at Lavon, who was watching what I could not see happening with Jack and the sheep. I assumed the worst.  
Meanwhile, I could have been shoving fistfuls of sample ravioli and cheese spread in my mouth while ramming into slow shoppers, but NO.
Right quick, indeed.

I uttered a second oath, and, as Lavon continued to ignore me, I started off on my sullen stomp toward the barn.  I didn't get far before Jack reappeared with his 5 sheep, trotting at a very nice pace. This was really quite a feat, especially since I later learned that this had entailed him getting the sheep out of the barn, twice, and keeping them from running into the corral, and then going back for a single. All by himself while I was busy glowering.  Lavon had a good view of Jack's fine work while I mostly saw only The Future Katy having to go fix things.

I could acknowledge here that I was wrong, but I think it's better and more accurate to say that Jack was right.  Lavon is just optimistic. 

After Jack brought me back the sheep,  I concentrated on him driving them around the field; me walking along parallel and flanking, picking a spot in the field and Jack staying behind or flanking enough to hit our target.  He was good.  He worked more quickly as he did not want to risk losing them again.  I was not as bad.  My mood improved dramatically, especially when Lavon worked Scout and vice versa.

…Not really vice versa. Actually, though Lavon did work Scout, she was….really really sane.  Thoughtful, she took every stop, she flanked nicely, no slicing, no barking.  He put her in difficult places full of pressure and she was good.  I think if someone had introduced Ted Kaczynski to the Right Sport, maybe bowling or darts…he may have been a different man.

Tonight I have to shop. I'm buying a brow waxing kit for Lavon.


Season's Greetings from Scout