Yesterday while I was running my second group of dogs on Lavon's canal, he worked Jai. 

He's worked Jai before, always when I am not around; I let him sometimes, reminding them both that they shouldn't get used to it.  Their relationship will never be consumated on a trial field.  No matter how much each admires the other's talent, Jai still has a long row to hoe pulling me out of The Suck.  And Pat won't sit on my lap.  I'm okay with a little outrun/lift and fetch action in the privacy of the training field, now and then, but when it's all said and done, my house is where Jai gets 700 thread count sheets and raw chicken for one of her two daily meals.  Good timing and consistency are one thing, but sitting in a lap watching netflix on my shitty computer screen are what seperates us from the beasts. (That and a doggie door!)  My face isn't going to lick itself.

I run with his dogs on the canal.  It's an activity we all enjoy. It's where my talent really shines. 

"I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass," Lavon said when I returned (it should be noted that he begins 3/4 of our conversations thusly…making me wonder if this ass-smoke blowing is not another forbidden dream of his), "But Jai is an amazing dog! Seriously, I was putting her in some tight spots shedding and she came in like a flash and just got better and better…"

They were both wagging. I scrutinized his lap for telltale hairs until he shifted to the side uncomfortably.

"I know I've said it before but she is a really really nice dog," he squirmed.

"Yes,"  I said, "on and off the field.  But she does get into the bathroom trash and chew my shoes.  Do you like your shoes, Lavon? DO YOU?"

I pointed to my own, now missing the laces on one and the tongue on the other as Jai wagged her way back over to me.  I believe Lavon's shoes are SYNTHETIC, whereas my own are LEATHER.

A few weeks ago, short weeks ago, whenever I asked Jai to come in on a shed, it was my cue to cry. She would lick her lips, stand there, and vibrate with intention to NOT DO AS I WAS ASKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.  She preferred to not come in on the shed but instead stand around keeping her lips moist until a time presented itself for something she felt better about..like gathering. She preferred to wait until I ranted and raved and cried like a baby, scattering sheep that she would then circle wide and assemble again at my feet.

"WHY THE TARRED AND FEATHERED FUCK DID I MOVE TO OPEN!!??? I WILL NEVER SHED WITH THIS DOG!"

(I think Jai was thinking the same thing, only in a different font and inflection, regrouping of nouns and pronouns…and more hopefully.)

"Do you mind if I try to shed with her?" Lavon asked.

"Not at all…do you mind if I take Gus and Tess shopping for dog beds that will match your edible drapes?"

And so Lavon has worked Jai a few times and Jai really likes working with Lavon…well, anyone, actually. I swear – pull your most heinous maximum security criminal out of his cell in shackles and hockey mask with mouth guard, send him shuffling out in a field with Jai and she'll run a course ending in a shed and then pen for the most evil of miscreants.  She'll flank and flow and make it all really pretty.  All the worst human being on the living face of this 3rd closest planet to the Sun needs to do is whistle and stand there.

She doesn't take who she works for personally.  Except…

Me…  Apparently I put her on edge; After I walk her to the post and send her, I make her wish that she hadn't brought me with her to the field. Or that I'd wait in the car.

"You know what I think your problem is? She knows you too well. She can tell when you aren't comfortable and so she wants to do whatever it is to fix it; she gets ramped up on your emotion."

Blink blink

"You need to work on being calm."

 "And you need to work Scout."

Ramped up, indeed.  Scout can smell weakness you won't know exists until it outruns you in the desert.  She'll shed until all that's left is your emotion on one side and sheep on the other.

"Okay! I will!"

Scout, too, loves Lavon.

This weekend I ran Jai and Jack at Lacamas.  I was very happy with both dogs and I think they were not unhappy with me, other than my not letting either of them wallow in the dairy's sewer ponds. 

On our first open run, Jai and I lost the sheep off-course.  She did a great outrun, lift was rocky – and then she just sort of followed the ewes at a leisurely pace off course. It was like she decided these sheep were not our sheep. These were sheep that needed to be followed and observed.  I whistled a fucking hole in both our heads, attempting to speed her up, flank her, get her to stop, look and listen…but no.  These were FOLLOWING SHEEP, not TRIAL SHEEP.  The judge Thanked me and said that I could go retrieve my dog and sheep from somewhere out of view and point them toward exhaust.  We did this and, as we passed the spectator tent, just because Jai hates to disappoint a crowd, she chased down and rolled a single non-compliant ewe.   It was 97 degrees and the end of the day. I want to think that everyone got their money's worth.

On the PN Field, Jack crossed coarse on his first run.  All the way to the post he told me – SEND ME COMEBY, SEND ME COMEBY – and I ignored him and set him up Away.  He crossed and brought me sheep, we struggled a bit and he stopped listening after turning the post. Again, 97 degrees…I retired. I saw no point in overheating sheep and dog, dusting off my full array of foul language or delaying my beer.  Not on our first run.  We walked. 

Jai's second run was really really nice.  Nice outrun, nice lift….fetch was a little offline but we got it back and made the fetch panels, nice turn around the post and pretty decent drive to the first panels.  We made the panels, though I was a little flustered  – and here is where I translated that flustration to Jai via a wrong flank, a late correction and some apologizing or hesitant weirdness.  We had a really nice cross drive but were too high to make the second panels.  We serpentined toward and away from those panels a few times until I ASSUMED that I'd made an honest attempt at SOMETHING…and went to the pen.

Thank You.

Apparently we didn't cross the plane and so…

It was a good run. Jai was really ON.  She was confident and flowing and it just felt good.  I was VERY PROUD of her.

Jack's second run was nice also, except the parts that included me.  Again he told me all the way to the post – SEND ME COMEBY. He's trot to my left side, I'd put him on my right.
Nearly everyone was sending away.  There was a strong draw to the setout and a lot of runs were going south on the fetch because of it.  Jack has a fucky leg and I worried that he might not be fast enough.

I sent him Away.

He crossed. Of course he crossed. 

He brought me the sheep nicely and around the post in a Not Bad manner.  The drive to the first drive panels was decent and I think we made the panels….cross drive was not hideous…
I can't remember if we made the second panels, but we timed out at the pen.  I think our score (!!) was 50-something.  It was huge to have Jack listen and, though the judge was EXTREMELY FORGIVING..(we could have been thanked enough to warrent a hug or gift receipt) Jack was pretty in control and attentive.  He let go of his chronic desire to bring me back the sheep at all costs.  He's also very handsome.

Things I thought about and would do different..will do differently:

When Jack gives me a strong indication of which way to send, I will listen to it. He RARELY ever does this in practice and hasn't at a trial before now. He's an Anyway is Okay kind of guy.  He also seems to have a lot of feel.  He can be trusted or I will trust him on this until I see that I can't or shouldn't. 

Jai is really fast and responsive and nearly perfect when she's confident.  That second run was all Confident Jai until I screwed us both up getting nervous on the first panel. We recovered but I think I anticipated a problem at the second panel and so didn't set her up right and things went south from there.  Also, I used a harsher correction than Jai needs. Soft corrections are what works and keeps her moving and taking the right flanks. 

I worked hard all weekend envisioning good runs for both dogs.  Expecting good work.  I know it sounds hokey. All that Envisioning business almost wants to come with crystals and incense, but what it definitely did do for me was it made me THINK ABOUT THE ENTIRE RUN and not just the PART I LIKE because it usually goes well.  Normally I picture the nice outrun, lift and fetch my dog will do and then I decide to end there. Cross the other bridges when we come to them. Sometimes I just flash scenes from Jaws or images of trucks bursting into flames.  Monkeys in aprons chasing ducks around a table. 

I think forcing myself to picture the entire run with each dog, several times before we actually went to the post was calming for me and so calming for them.  I pictured things going well and I pictured the problems I might have and how I'd fix them.  (Thanks, Lavon!)
It was hard mental work because I normally prefer to spend the time before a run sweating and chewing something or peeing. It really cut into those activities, but I feel we benefitted in the long run.

We didn't get a score at Palm Cottage. Jai and I TY'd out on both Open runs, but I was happy with her because it's a tough outrun, many dogs struggle to find the sheep and she nailed it. Both days. She did a nice lift and fetch also. Things got squirrelly on the rest of the course and she gripped multiple times until it seemed rude NOT to thank her for it.

Jack lost the sheep on the outrun. I should have made him be wider.

Ms. Milliken was the judge. After a few bottles of beer, glasses of wine, a lick of psychoactive toad (JK! You can't GET those in Western Oregon!) I charmed her with tales of me watching all her runs, over and over, on the youtubes (or equivalent).

"I watch them over and over…I study them…"

Yes. I put the Eep in Creepy!

Who knows why I say the shit I do? It was true; I have watched her taped runs, as many as I could find, over and over. It is helpful to see what handling a dog like Jai correctly looks and sounds like. It must have meant so much more to her to then watch me run my dog the next day like the whistling equivalent of a fly chasing a train.

Lavon video taped my runs and I watched them the other night. My whistles did not seem to have much to do with what Jai was doing on the field most of the time. My whistles sound tentative not decisive. Experimental, even. Like I'm taking a stab at a soundtrack for lethargy. They are not the fast snappy tones that I need to employ, that the Milliken employs.

Though I cringed my way through watching my own videos, I like having my runs recorded as reference. I think it's very helpful. It's not what I remembered, good and bad. Ever.  That has to be a sign of something. What am I seeing when I'm out there? Even I wonder…

So, now I have about 2 weeks before Lacamas. We are next up on the waiting list.  We might get in. I'm hoping. 

I've been thinking a lot about what success at this, or anything, maybe, really entails. Listening to great athletes, top handlers, my son who is striving to obtain a very difficult career goal with an 80% failure rate of applicants….If I had to give one answer it would be Confidence. The ability to visualize and believe until it is a PHYSICAL THING that one can achieve the goal one is striving to achieve.

That sounds like something someone's Aunt Rhonda would say half into her jug, leering at your 19 year old lawn boy. BUT IT'S TRUE. OR I BELIEVE it is. I've heard that it is.

In mountain biking, and I've said this before, but it really resonated with me and it's my blog so fuck off, the key to riding anything could be summed up:

Put Your Eyes Where You Want to Go, NOT Where You Don't Want to Go – Wheels Follow Eyes.

People ride insane trails at breakneck speeds because they have confidence. When I used to crash (alot), it was because I got scared and applied brakes, or was going too slow out of tentiveness or fear.

Fear is not my friend. I think I translate my fear of failing, my hesitation in Jai into my body posture, my tones, my response time. I'm sure of it. It doesn't happen nearly so much in practice, especially if I'm only with close friends. I realize that if one has an inexperienced or less talented dog that all the confidence in the world will not compensate, but I believe that in order to get the best run out of any dog, and myself, I have to go to the post being able to see that run happen and believe that it can, not just telling myself that I do. I have to know what it feels like, even if I haven't yet felt it. Maybe that is slow. Maybe it's made up of many tiny successes.

It's interesting to me that both my dogs….all the dogs I've ran so far, actually, have pretty nice Outruns, decent to really nice Lifts and pretty easy Fetches. I've always been pretty confortable with that part of our run and it's always pretty reliable. It's when my dogs get the sheep to me that things start to unravel.

So, this next week or so I'm concentrating on confidence and speeding up my whistles so that they are proactive and not reactive. I'll probably watch more videos. The Milliken for precision and speed. P*trick for finesse. Ren and Stimpy for fun. Fun is the second most important factor, or maybe it's the co-pilot of the first.