Jaenne* picks up the TMT interrogations:
1. Where were you born? Did you grow up there?
I was born in Southern California and grew up in Northern Idaho, just like everyone else in Idaho who can read and still has teeth. JUST KIDDING! Just like everyone else in Idaho who can't drive in snow and thinks cows are wildlife…JUST KIDDING! Just like everyone else in Idaho who pronounces "CREEK" and "COYOTE" correctly, or looks coyly proud of themselves when they don't.
Yeah. Just like everyone else.
2. How did you come to end up living where you are now?
I married, procreated and divorced as quickly as it took me to type that sentence and his family had enough money to make sure I couldn't live any further than, I shit you not, 120 miles from the city center of Buhl, Idaho. What center???
Google that little slice of farming shitheaven. Thus began my forced love affair with Boise.
Who names a town 'Buhl'? Germans!
3. What is the most unusual trick you have taught your dog? Or the most unusual animal you have taught tricks?
People always thought we taught Hank to surf an innertube– she could leap from the side to the center of the pool, landing gracefully, perfectly balanced smack dab in the middle of any floatation device and navigate skillfully to the next splash. She loved to bite splashes. Eventually she'd jump off into the water and swim to the side, biting the water all the way, and do it all again. We never taught or encouraged this, however, because it was a serious pain in the ass at times and cost me a small fortune in 'tubes.
My dogs have taught me more tricks than I've taught them.
4. What is the most unusual food you enjoy?
I don't enjoy unusual food. My daughter does and is always trapping me into trying some of these nasty esoteric things – the sauteed sweet bread of some unfortunate creature or candied, salted, WTF…but I almost never enjoy it. I feel martyred by my concession to even lick tentatively a fork that has occupied the same table as some of this weird shit that privaleged people find ironicly yummie.
Wake me when we are eating fetus infused with a bank account and chocolate sauce.
5. I know this has been asked before, but I'm always looking for a great book to read so what was the last book you read? Did you like it? Would you recommend it?
I just finished Schopenhauer's Porcupines. It was good.
*JAENNE, NOT Jeanne, NOT JANNNNAE, NOT J'Aenne.