Laura's Weekly TMT:

 

1. Jorgen would like to know what skill would you like to have that you don't currently have?
2. If someone were going to play you in a movie, who do you think it would be?
3. Kelsey wants to know what is a quality that you admire in a dog but would never fit with you?
4. If you had just enough money to pay someone to do one chore for you, what would it be?
5. Are you a procrastinator, a doitnower (I made that word up), or something in between?

Sometimes I wish I could sing and not have it sound like I was choking on a magpie. 

Scout would play me in a movie.  It would be an artsy film, My Kibble with Katy.  The part of me played by Scout with a supporting role played by Pat, who, aside from staring at me (Scout) while I (she) do(es) not eat her kibble, guarding it dourly, bravely, instead… would be licking his balls.  It says so much! There would also be an action sequel called Act of Glower as dinner stretched into breakfast and more dogs,  plus some squirrels, started eyeing the still full dish.

Kelsey doesn't really want to know that.  She wants to know if I ate all the dried apples she left at Greenleaf in a gallon sized ziplock or whether I'm still guarding them. Yes.

I tried hiring housecleaners years ago, but ended up feeling bad about having some other poorer women clean up my shit so…slowly our relationship evolved into me serving them snacks and giving them things, like my clothes dryer, while they sat at my kitchen table and smoked.  My house actually got DIRTIER during this period.  Now I pay some dudes to mow my lawn. I bring them ice cold beer and offer to wash their trucks.  They don't speak english so they assume the worst and won't let me near them with a sponge. I should pay them more.

I am in between alright.

 

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