As per Lora STEPPING UP and giving us a new weekly question:

What would you NEVER name your next dog?

I would NOT name a dog Mohammed because the LAST thing…the VERY LAST thing I need at a stock dog trial is a fatwa against me.  Mohammed's photo, posed next to some sheep, framed in gold, on my blog would confuse and irritate people, especially if he were also posed humping some 'virgins'…

Wars are started over less.

Plus, really…

"MOHAMMED LIE DOWN!!"

I would not name my dog using only sounds and tongue clicks, like the word for 'Pat' or 'Zip' in a southern African tribal dialect, NO MATTER HOW TRENDY and cutting edge it may make me seem. 

I would not name my dog 'Phillip' because that sounds like a serious matter-of-fact name. The name of a dog who wouldn't "get" me.  A dog who would find this "running a course" for no other reason than "competition" as being wasteful and wrong.  Shallow.  Sheep? Why? Whatever for? Phillip would prefer chicken.  Phillip would like being read to from the kibble bag so that he could disapprove.  He'd think getting a cat to keep me company while he dug escape holes in the yard a better plan.  A dog who might conspire to have me penned.  Sent to rehab or counseling…a "wellness spa." When I got back, Phillip would have found a new 'Mistress'. He'd wag goodbye sadly but sensibly and he'd be wearing a sweater vest.  Made from cat fur.

At first I thought I would NOT name a dog after myself.  But I've decided, just since my last paragraph, really, that I would. And will.  It will confuse people to hear me screaming my own name on the trial field. I like the symmetry in everyone being equally confused while I'm out there.