Last weekend Jody R. and I "volunteered" at a Farm Days event hosted by a faux old timey Community in the middle of a yuppie subdivision planted outside of Boise just far enough to pretend to be Rural without having to drive one's SUV on unpaved road.
Without having to smell farming or livestock 364 days of the year.
The residents, seriously, should live in a Pottery Barn biosphere.
ASIDE!!: I wish. I WISH there were more biospheres. People should be SENTENCED to live in theme biospheres.
Anyway. The setup was 7 nasty sheep (knee-knockers, I believe they are called in the AHBA community in which they seem to thrive) barely contained outside a horse trailer in a hastily fenced area the size of my spleen. The gate was a roll of wire that we had to wrestle to the side for access and egress. Often I would get tangled in this roll and it would appear to be part of the show. I wish I had worn a mask. DIGRESS!
Upon sending one's dog into this holding area the sheep would dash out at top speed and into the crowd, whose sensibilities and temperment mirrored the animals. Slow witted lumbering beasts who trundled to and fro stopping occasionally to chew and stare. The only thing seperating sheeps from peeps was the act of drinking from a cup and eating at a table. BUT NOT FOR LONG!
Lunch was setup 10 feet, as the sheep fly, across from our 'demo yard' – a strip of lawn roughly 30 x 75 feet. There was no barrier, natural or otherwise, unless you count children, strollers, a bluegrass band or crying. The sheep didn't.
The sheep ran through the crowd, over tables, (lunch was pulled pork. WTF? Who is pulling pork out here, I wondered more than once…) behind the barn or outbuildings…into the parking lot, up onto the band stage…
And I would send Jai, who was our community demo rock. You couldn't see ANYTHING from where I stood, drinking another beer. I rarely followed. I didn't want to be associated with that craziness. Blamed.
Jai would disappear, I'd hear some mild oaths, some screaming…parents frantically calling children…and sheep would reappear with Jai behind, often sporting a wool beard.
Jody and I would then take turns using our dogs to move the sheep around the small lawn area that was our 'demo' spot for about 5- 10 minutes and then put the sheep away.
We'd drink more beer and wait until the sheep and our dogs seemed rested enough to do it all again, usually 30 minutes or so.
People loved it. Really.
I will never do it again. (SORRY JAENNE!)
Until next year. (SHORT TERM MEMORY BIOSPHERE! BEER BIOSPHERE!!)
Now, in interest of full disclosure this event happens every year and I NORMALLY show up only long enough to drink a few beers, for free, and run my dog around the little arena that Jaenne has set up. Jaenne handles the details. Jaenne is a MISTRESS OF DETAILS. She makes things run smoothly and sanely. Under Jaenne's watch there would have been no sheep on the band stage, no sheep at the lunch tables…children would NOT have been knocked into creeks by sheep and dogs on their speedy way to the parking area. She, however, was out of commission with a last minute back injury the day of this event.
It never dawns on me to organize. I just tend to mix in with Chaos.
I sincerely apologize for not being there…I didn’t leave my couch and/or bed until late afternoon/early evening on Monday…although I don’t know that my drug enduced stupor would have been noticed…I’m not sure that I would have been able to find my way to the land of the Stepford Wives…if I had attempted to get there, I may still be driving around aimlessly around the foothills…
No need to apologize, you always end up pulling more than your weight at these things. It was entertaining and I think good for Jai. It was a ridiculous set-up. The only GOOD THING: The patch of weeds they normally designate for the sheepdog demo…is now sod. No more goatheads!