Crooks and Crazies Tell Me Thursday!!

1) How did you get into border collies (or whatever your dogs of choice are)? What started it all?

Zeke, my aussie, started it, as I mentioned in my previous post. I thought it was really cool, underneath the barking and poop eating, that he was doing what he was (theoretically) bred to do.*  It was like me drinking canned beer and not wearing shoes and being curious about what squirrel tastes like.  I still don't know! Am I less than a whole person? MAYBE! I've never been turned out in a holler and asked to find the sour mash still before the law does, but I think I'd be GOOD AT IT. (ASIDE!!)

The more I saw good handlers working good dogs…or even dogs that weren't so good, but handlers that knew why and how to fix it – complex problems involving the dog's insecurities and pressure and weird personality quirks…the communication between a dog and sheep and how subtle all of this communication is and that subtlety is why it's so effective, the more I knew that this was something that no matter how much and for how long I continued to suck, I'd also continue to pursue. I wanted that communication with my dogs.  Trialing is stressful. I'm learning to cope with that stress and I'm hoping to be successful to some degree; but what I really love is working my dogs.   It has changed EVERYTHING for me.  I am a different person. (Half a different person until I sample squirrel, but …)

Anyway, and some people won't like this, and maybe I'm high on varment deprivation, but I've never seen the language so clearly spoken and interpreted between handler and dog quite as articulately as with border collies.  Except Scout, who really just says "FUCK YOU AND YOUR NAPPY ASSED ROASTS!" a lot.

(2) How many dogs do you have? All dog math variations accepted.

I really like Crooks and Crazies formula because I think I can get my numbers down to more acceptible …

Hank and Jen are both REALLY OLD (16 and 13), Annie and Jasper pretty old (10 and 12) so that's one and a half, say.  Then I have Zeke who is a solid whole number because of importance, especially to my son, and then Pat and Jai, each an entire dog, and Scout. Scout is a half, but it's concentrate.  Add just a drop of exposure and she turns into like 12 hostile forces.  She has the Scoutrage. So…damn… I'm at 5 and a half until I look at Scout, someone says her name, or a door is opened changing the pressure in a room. Then it's up to 16 and a half.  Still, my neighbors suspect I have 65.

(3) What do you do for a day job?

 My mother liked to say that I 'Google the Earth' …DD tells people that I map lightning. Somewhere in there lies reality. Or a drop of it. 

(4) What questions would you like to answer (or ask)?

 Would you like more pie? Another frosty beverage?

I'm going to put more brain on what question(s) I'd like to ask and get back to you. I like this Tell Me Thursday, thing.

(5) What was for dinner last night?

Sadly it was apricots and beer.  I am staying out at the place we call Greenleaf and ran out of time/energy to get to a store so I had to make do with what was out here – A dead mouse in a trap, and my leftover lunch.  I passed on the mouse denying my roots, again. Plus beer.

On the best of nights it does not get much better, though, because I never cook.  I make salsa. I buy chips.  I eat radishes and salt the shit out of everything.  The only time I really eat meals is if I go out with friends.   My son says that I appear to subsist on licorice and chips.  ALOT OF CHIPS


*Maybe way 'underneath' the barking and poop eating. Like leagues under the barking and poop eating.