1. How do you teach recalls to your dogs?

By clicking and treating.  Or dancing with them. THEY LOVE FREESTYLE!  Pat likes C/W played really speeded up, especially Kenny Rogers or that Ass Monkey Garth Brooks…and Jai likes to "shake her money maker" to songs of the 70's.  It's a huge reward after a day of flanking and laying the fuck down. JUST KNOWING that when I blow that recall it's heralding the intro to some cheesy but dancable music- that's all it takes for my dogs to come jetting back to my side.  It's harder to pull off at trials because after you've been Thank You'd off the course, some people begrudge waiting the 3.5 minutes for Pat to dirty dance through the Gambler. Fuckers.

Not really. 

Jai and I still have to occasionally revisit this because when I recall her, she often thinks I'm just bringing her slightly back so that I can flank her.  I hardly ever do that, but I must have done it once because she always hopes for or expects it; I can whistle loud and long, she doesn't believe me.  So, my biggest headway with the recall is to lay my dog down far enough off the sheep to minimize the 'pull' and then SCREAM "THAT'LL DO! THAT WILL DO!!!!! GODDAMNIT! THAT> WIIILLLLLLL > DOOOO!!!"  a few – ten times while I walk with purpose off the field. Humming.

2. What is your favorite Restaurant or type of food? Clearly I have food on the brain much of the time.

Immelda's in Caldwell for breakfast.  They make their own tortillas and their huevos rancheros is the best. So is their salsa.  Spur in Seattle for dinner. It's more of an event than just a meal. REALLY GOOD drinks and an array of new foods which I've mostly never seen occur in nature with a garnish. GARNISH! TAKE THAT FOOD DARWIN!

3. What is your favorite interest outside of dogs/livestock/sports?  I run/hike and I read.  Those are my big things. 
 

4. Describe your path from where you started out to where you are now! (For example, how did you get from Novice to Open? How long did it take? Train dogs? Buy dogs? I'll take answers for any sort of discipline, or even how did you go from wild dog that didn't listen to well behaved dog – interpret this however you like.) This question was suggested by Pippin.

Unless you count the year or so with my aussie and ASCA trials, I didn't spend much or any time to speak of in novice because once I started trialing,  I had a borrowed open dog, so I had to trial in pro-novice, where I imagine I will be for awhile.  Last year I trialed just Pat and this year I have trialed Jai and Pat.  Every trial gets easier in one or more ways, even if its just that I see the good more and am willing to move past the bad; learn from it, but not dwell on it. 

I think it's good to get over the emotion of sucking at trials.  It happens at every level, but only the new handlers seem to take it so personally.  Like me and crying in wheat fields….considering starting a cat boutique.  Wearing a disguise to the post.

Jai is the first trial dog that I bought and I bought her last year. I do not know the extent of her training, but she was started by someone back east. My understanding is that she had not trialed.  Every time I work her, every trial, she is better. More fluid and correct, more confident, better at anticipating our next move… I like having dogs smarter than me.  I like them to be better at this, but to really care what I think and that I might click and treat them to music later if they pull this run off.  I'll have more time if I don't have to find a wheat field in which to cry.

 5. Is there a dog that you raised that, if you knew then what you know now, you would have raised them differently? Question posed by Jodi.

All of my dogs, prior to Jai, I feel that I patronized, had insufficient expectations of, and to one degree or another robbed of clarity and self-confidence because of my warped idea of cute and what it meant to love your DOG. I am way more black and white with my dogs now. I demand more and tolerate less.  I crate them (or most of them).  I dress them in subtler outfits.  I don't wear Scout in a snuggy around the shopping mall. Anymore.

I'm pretty convinced that what trialing dogs does is whiddle away at one's ego until all that is left is a vessel that can whistle and cuss fairly automatically. Maybe that's just me.

Lacamas Valley was our final summer trial.  Pat, as I've said, hurt his back passenger foot (his nail was completely torn off) a few weeks ago and so I have not worked or exercised him to any degree prior to this trial, or really since the last trial.  I'm told, and believe, that this shouldn't matter.  I keep thinking of it as a great excuse though.  I'd like to have a commemmorative plate made.   

I retired Pat on both runs.  I didn't have a handle on him. Couldn't get him to stop, he was in frantic mode, wasn't listening; I'm sure I wasn't telling him what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it, but I just felt helpless watching him.  Like I should find something else to do while he tarried here and there with his sheep; stay at the post for when he eventually needed a gate opened, but read a good book, put down my whistle and pick up a harmonica…or a kazoo.

Instead I'd whistle down, yell a correction, and the most I'd get was a pause down then right back to frantic.  It was like running him a year ago.  I do not THINK that it was ALL me…I think he was, for whatever reason or reasons, just not listening. There is a lot of pressure on that field. (Matching commemmorative glass)

Good dogs have bad days, venues. Whatever.  (YES!! Napkin!)

It was discouraging, but I wasn't going to stand out there watching things be all fucky, screaming commands he wouldn't take.  Pat's nearly 11. He doesn't need this shit. Neither do I. 

Jai was great.  Both her outruns were beautiful, nice lift, and really perfect  straight fetch right through the panels.  The sheep were tough and the course is tough and we scored a 59 on thursday. We gripped off on friday.  The sheep tried to turn back one too many times.  I didn't blame her. I had planned to grip myself, but she beat me to it. I was really really happy with her.  

Now we are home and I plan to get Pat back into shape, work him. Buy a harmonica. I'm looking forward to working Jai.  Our next trials are in cooler weather. 

Late Edition Thursday Questions from Crooks and Crazies

1. Who is your newest dog? Where is he/she from, and why did you choose this particular dog/breeding? This question posted by Jodi.

Jai is my newest dog and I got her last October.  She was bred by Amanda Milliken (Ethyl x Star) and made her way to me via Patrick who thought she'd be a good dog for me.  SHE IS!!  Let the record show that deep in my irrational heart, prior to actually MEETING Jai, I wanted somehow to keep Rose.  I loved her hardness and her strength though I could no more run her than I could a steam engine locomotive, which is what stopping her has been compared to. Jai is really nothing like Rose, but I love her and it is a far more logical relationship.

2. What traits drew you to this dog or breeding? (also by Jodi) 

Her availability and my need were first and foremost in MY head…but Patrick said that Jai was a very good dog with tremendous potential – young and just needed a little confidence. He felt that we'd be a good fit.  I loved her personality right away. She is very intelligent and a sweeter dog cannot be found.  She is sensitive enough that I can be as close to her as I tend to be with my dogs and not have to fight with her when we work. Too much. 

3. What's on your feet right now?

Converse high tops.

4. What are you reading right now?

Sebastian Junger's 'War' and 'Camus' by David Sherman.

5. What upcoming trials are you looking forward to? If you don't trial dogs I'll take whatever activity that you're looking forward to.

I am not entered in any upcoming trials, at this time, but I will probably go watch Soldier Hollow and definitely am signed up for Patrick's (and Helsley's) Sheepcamp in October.

Pat tore a toenail completely off his rear passenger foot about a week ago.  I've thrown him into the pool to swim laps and keep fit.   He seems to love it; he gets to jump in after a ball (never allowed otherwise) and follow me along the side for 5 – 7 laps at a time, for about a half an hour or so.  Some of my other dogs half-heartedly follow for a few laps, but really Pat is stronger and they, frankly, don't give a shit. They are dogs in chronic repose.  I throw a ball for them all the time.

Now when Pat goes outside, he runs straight to the pool gate.  He's obsessed.

This can really only backfire if the pronovice field at Lacamas has a pond. 

Thanks to Laura…once again I have a reason to update my blog!

1. In sheepdog training (or lets call it *any* type of training), how do you keep from taking yourself, your dog, your lack of progress too seriously? posed by Ann

I vaccilate between delusions of grandeur and searching ebay/craigs list for a monkey jockey.  There is no "keeping myself" from anything.  Dianne keeps me grounded by making fun of me, or giving me her patent-pending DD 'Look'…the scrutizing stare ending in fast blinking…when I say something stupid like,

Me: "It doesn't seem to me that qualifying a nursery dog would be too difficult."

DD: "Really? Maybe you should finish a pro-novice course before you have that needlepointed on a pillow."

Yes.  I did really say that. Less than a year ago. 

2. How many crates do you have? For reals.

Six. Really.  I should have more but I am LAZY. Only Pat and Jai and Scout and Zeke spend any time at all in a crate.  The others run the house like a plague of barking shedding vermin.  Sometimes I go sit in my car just to get away from them.  (NOT REALLY!)

(Really)

I think a cage suspended from the ceiling, like 60's go-go girls danced in, would be great for Scout.  I might get one of those. Or 3.

3. How do you keep your dogs in shape?

I run or walk 4 – 7 miles at least, usually, twice a day.  Jai gets more like 8 – whatever, because I'll take her on more than one run/walk.  Pat is lame right now, (!!!) so I'm just hoping he has some risidual fitness from before he hurt himself; he generally gets 4 – 5 miles trotting along on trails behind me.  I also have older dogs who get 2 – 3 miles, walking.  And Scout, who I like to take alone or with one other mellow dog because she is filled with rage and I'm afraid she'll burn a hole in one of my other dogs with her eyes.

4. Who is your favorite movie/tv star eye candy at the moment?

Damn. I'm going to have to disappoint you here. I honestly cannot think of a single person on television or the screen…any screen…that I find especially attractive.  I don't watch much television and the shows that I do, do not tend to feature handsome people.

I have always wanted to shower with Spongebob, though.

5. What is your livestock situation? Have your own? Borrow? Herd the cats? (You can subsitute other equipment for livestock if you don't work stock with your dogs).

I have a little place that Dianne pastures some of her scotties on, but I don't work them.  The terrain is kind of difficult for the small area (slightly  less than 3 acres) bisected by a stream…marshy and full of scottish thistle….and they aren't great sheep to work since they are mostly bottle lambs. Usually I work at her house.  I offer to house sit every chance I get or if our friend Kelsey is housesitting, then I go over and work sheep with her.  Someday I hope to either get more acreage or maybe some tiny housesheep.

I would want the katahdins, of course, to match the drapes.

Crooks and Crazies Tell Me Thursday!!

1) How did you get into border collies (or whatever your dogs of choice are)? What started it all?

Zeke, my aussie, started it, as I mentioned in my previous post. I thought it was really cool, underneath the barking and poop eating, that he was doing what he was (theoretically) bred to do.*  It was like me drinking canned beer and not wearing shoes and being curious about what squirrel tastes like.  I still don't know! Am I less than a whole person? MAYBE! I've never been turned out in a holler and asked to find the sour mash still before the law does, but I think I'd be GOOD AT IT. (ASIDE!!)

The more I saw good handlers working good dogs…or even dogs that weren't so good, but handlers that knew why and how to fix it – complex problems involving the dog's insecurities and pressure and weird personality quirks…the communication between a dog and sheep and how subtle all of this communication is and that subtlety is why it's so effective, the more I knew that this was something that no matter how much and for how long I continued to suck, I'd also continue to pursue. I wanted that communication with my dogs.  Trialing is stressful. I'm learning to cope with that stress and I'm hoping to be successful to some degree; but what I really love is working my dogs.   It has changed EVERYTHING for me.  I am a different person. (Half a different person until I sample squirrel, but …)

Anyway, and some people won't like this, and maybe I'm high on varment deprivation, but I've never seen the language so clearly spoken and interpreted between handler and dog quite as articulately as with border collies.  Except Scout, who really just says "FUCK YOU AND YOUR NAPPY ASSED ROASTS!" a lot.

(2) How many dogs do you have? All dog math variations accepted.

I really like Crooks and Crazies formula because I think I can get my numbers down to more acceptible …

Hank and Jen are both REALLY OLD (16 and 13), Annie and Jasper pretty old (10 and 12) so that's one and a half, say.  Then I have Zeke who is a solid whole number because of importance, especially to my son, and then Pat and Jai, each an entire dog, and Scout. Scout is a half, but it's concentrate.  Add just a drop of exposure and she turns into like 12 hostile forces.  She has the Scoutrage. So…damn… I'm at 5 and a half until I look at Scout, someone says her name, or a door is opened changing the pressure in a room. Then it's up to 16 and a half.  Still, my neighbors suspect I have 65.

(3) What do you do for a day job?

 My mother liked to say that I 'Google the Earth' …DD tells people that I map lightning. Somewhere in there lies reality. Or a drop of it. 

(4) What questions would you like to answer (or ask)?

 Would you like more pie? Another frosty beverage?

I'm going to put more brain on what question(s) I'd like to ask and get back to you. I like this Tell Me Thursday, thing.

(5) What was for dinner last night?

Sadly it was apricots and beer.  I am staying out at the place we call Greenleaf and ran out of time/energy to get to a store so I had to make do with what was out here – A dead mouse in a trap, and my leftover lunch.  I passed on the mouse denying my roots, again. Plus beer.

On the best of nights it does not get much better, though, because I never cook.  I make salsa. I buy chips.  I eat radishes and salt the shit out of everything.  The only time I really eat meals is if I go out with friends.   My son says that I appear to subsist on licorice and chips.  ALOT OF CHIPS. 

*Maybe way 'underneath' the barking and poop eating. Like leagues under the barking and poop eating.

Laura at Crooks and Crazies had a post on Thursday asking readers to respond to these questions:

#1. What is your most embarrassing trial moment to date?
#2. What do you prefer to whistle with and why?

I'm a little slow, what with my fingers taking a second job to help pay for my Greatness and all. I certainly enjoyed reading other people's responses, although some of my all-time favorite Trial of Shame descriptions have come from people offline, in person and…usually drunkish.  It's why I believe we need a forum for this at some trial where handlers will be drinking and their inhabitions lowered to my level. 

Regardless:

1) There have been SO MANY.  I've written about most of them here.  I think it's funny that these moments usually take time for me to realize how embarrassing they truly were. Like trying to pen 3 of the 5 sheep at Kelley Creek last year.  At the time that seemed reasonable.  The only other trials that I'd been exposed to – ASCA trials – let you get points for whatever sheep make it through or into an obstacle.  Or I'm high on screen cleaner.  Whatever.  I believed it at the time.  AND, for the record: Thank You needs to be replaced with a gong.

I think my lowest stockdog moment really came before I got my first Border Collie.  (AT LEAST SO FAR!)

A year and a half or so prior to meeting Dianne and Patrick, I started with my aussie, Zeke.  I had delusions, of course, of greatness.  Despite the fact that any vague relation to "reading" and "livestock" in my life thus far had mostly been limited to washing instructions and menus, and we'd had a handful of lessons where Zeke chased sheep in a small corral and barked while a nice man compared what we were aiming for with dancing, something I'll never do unless it's a symptom; I imagined that somehow I would step into the trial arena and Zeke would lay down a miracle of a run.  He would just KNOW THIS SHIT.  He was truly the best dog anyone had ever seen! OMG! What ARE HIS LINES? 

Zeke is and was a neurotic, lovable boy who enjoys poop and me and barking and running.  Sheep were really just in the way.  So, at our Greatness Trial I stood in horror while Zeke ran around cruising the spectators for someone he knew.  Then he ate some poop.  And finally someone shot off a fire cracker and he went into complete frenzy trying to escape the arena. The sheep, meanwhile, stood in a tidy little clump looking curious.  I stood near them holding my leash wondering if this was really supposed to last 5 minutes.  The firecracker decided things. 

The judge insisted that I try to "engage my dog with the livestock" while I was running around trying to catch and leash Zeke.

"Uh…I think I need to just …get him and leave," I said, "Because firecrackers are a game ending event."

"Why don't you try to get him back on the livestock?"

Zeke was trying to crawl under the fence.   The sheep followed me around at a fairly close distance.  We could have done the course alone, but now Zeke was yowling to get out.  I didn't want to be rude – the judge was obviously more experienced and was offering a suggestion, but Zeke had no interest and I was really horribly embarrassed by the whole thing.

His breeder, a colorful woman with an outspoken nature, offered this when I finally got Zeke and exited stage left,

"You should have put him on ducks. His mother loved to herd ducks…"

I guess what made that so embarrassing or hard for me was that Zeke really had little or no interest.  We were just spectacles out there. Both of us. It was never going to get any better.  Not in training, not on the trial field.

#2 – What whistle do I prefer and why?  At this point in time, something more realistic than my fingers.  I switch between my corian and my silver whistle that Amy Raymond made for me and I LOVE.   I have a brass whistle that I use, too, but it sounds like I'm dying …or on the verge of dancing.

And I'm not.