The lady at my drive thru coffee place told me today that her dog, who likes dancing with the stars and sweaters, ate an entire raw chicken once.  I like a drive-thru because in theory it saves TIME in getting coffee.  This lady, I believe her name is Rochelle, though I have absolutely no foundation for this belief, stabs my theory through the heart almost each morning.  Still, sometimes there is a moody teenager working and I get my coffee quick, with a sneer, so it's always worth a shot. 

This morning I really wanted my quad-shot Americana to beat back the sleep I didn't get last night worrying about my own dogs, one of whom ate a bottle of chewable Rimadyl.  I had just shared this information with Rochelle.  She asked if my dog could have a treat and I said, No, she was going to the vet because she may have eaten something she shouldn't have. 

"Oh, that's too bad…I'll give you some for later.  My dog ate an entire chicken, raw, one time.  I called my vet and he said, 'Are you sure it was chicken?' and I said, 'Yep, I double checked' and he said that was good because pork would have killed him."

Rochelle always wants to hand me a fist full of really cheap dog treats, the ones that come in fruit loop type colors, shaped like a bone.  The ones with a corgi on the box.  Sometimes – most of the time – I don't even have a dog with me.  Today I did.  She was excited enough to produce the entire box,

"What would your doggie like best? Red is beef and Yellow is Chicken…I'm not sure what green would be…."

"Maybe pork," I said.

She said one day her dog had chewed up her new expensive shoes,

"They were on sale and STILL cost too much! From DILLARDS!" she said as if Dillards were where Good Feet went to their post-mortem Reward.  Hers would be going barefoot.

I held my hand out hopefully for my coffee.  It had $3 in it and I did not need change.   She took the money and gave me about 7 green bones.

Jai just wagged enthusiastically.  She may have eaten fifteen 75 mg pills, or it may have been Zeke or Scout or Annie.  I've narrowed it down to those four.  Jai was the most likely because of when I assume it happened and where I found the bottle.  I gave her all seven green bones knowing that she would be made to hork them up shortly.  Might as well make it interesting.

Chewable toxic pills.  WTF!!?  Never again.

Rochelle doesn't have a dog.