The routine here housesitting for the DD is:

Up at 5, let DDs Boston Terriers out, along with Scout and Jai and Riley.  Scout and Jai do their business, back in crates for breakfast.  Riley does his business, plus a saunter around the fenceline, pees without aim on everything, seldom actually stopping.   Just a long dribble line of old gentle-dog piddle from the backdoor outward…he never runs out. He's like the Fountain of Urethraness.

The Bostons.  Ah…the Bostons.  One, usually Lacy (whom I keep calling 'Lucy', which is P*trick's female Boston's name….and doesn't work on this one…but, then, really, neither does 'Lacy' half the time) usually elects to go look for the Homeland or something to eat in Yonder Pastures.  This morning the coyotes were many and near.  So, I'm screech-whispering (can be done) 'LUU…LACY!" "LACY!!!" LUUC-ACY!"  up and down this dark farm road and in the pasture bordering the Crazy Neighbor. 

"LLLAAAACY!"

"BOSTON!"

"GODDAMN IT YOU LITTLE MOUTHBREATHING WHORE!" 

I am always relieved to not have someone's guilty adnoidal wife or girlfriend come skulking out of some dark house at this point, pulling on fake snakeskin pants and a cowhide vest…. adjusting her 'bump-it' 

Then I start releasing the Border Collie tenants in small healthy groups.

A few have issues. 

Petal is obsessed with Peg and only wants to stare at her, will herself into being her….in a shorter curlier frame. OR fence-chase the horse.  Zorro…is Zorro. He likes shadows, light, movement. Sound.  The world to Zorro is like a noisy flashy hair suit that makes one's ass look GREAT.  Trace…is a sociopath and has to be turned out alone.  Like the maximum security prison she'd be in for killing her entire family by running them down with a riding lawn mower were she human.  Usually she stays on the property, but I suspect she snuck off to vote for Lyndon LaRouche in the last election. 

Iris can escape out of anything and will. 'Iris' is another name I don't like yelling around this 'hood, only I'm more afraid of being the pied piper of Alzheimer grandmas then bagging a trollop.  Although neither would be happy for long in a crate. 

Rue will not come to you no matter WHAT you do. (trust me…I've had time to experiment and I have a lot of nerve calling the NEIGHBOR crazy…)

This letting dogs out in hand selected groups happens all day long.  In between I work Jai and pick up whatever poop May hasn't eaten.  I do other little chores.  I stare at Peg and wonder what Petal sees in her.  I fence chase the horse a little….(it's not bad!) Then it's time to let out a new group.

Almost all of the dogs are great on their own.  They all listen, really, (except Rue when asked to come, and Trace when asked to denounce her Dark Lord) and I've seen DD work most of these dogs and some of the craziest off of sheep are some of the nicest on.  Spending time with them like this….just watching them and not working them, really highlights how NOT SUITABLE for your average pet home is the working bred border collie. 

If you want a pet, get a Boston Terrier. When they aren't terrorizing Boston (or the rural equivent) in short half an hour spurts, they sleep.  And mouthbreathe. They ignore Peg and horses. 

Act now and I'll throw in a crate. And a bump-it. (Ask DD)

(JUST KIDDING DD!!) (I wouldn't give away a single hair hump of DDs BUMP-IT Cache)

 

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