Today I worked Pat in Dianne's field.  We worked on lines; non-hurriedly moving stock in straight lines.  Pat and I worked on slowing him down and keeping him slow. It's a struggle with Pat, because he really is excited to work stock and do what you want, and it seems like this translates to speed.  I'm working on knowing a straight line when I see it.  Our work was good.  Pat is good.  As always, he just wants to be right.  After the first time across the field he was markedly backed off.  The more I do this, the more I'm able to take in the details. 

Next Dianne let me work another dog – Toss. Toss belongs to Amy Raymond. He's a young dog, a Peg X Riggs. Dianne told me to just go out and work on driving with him.  I've worked on driving with a few dogs of varying degrees of expertise and training.  I am always happy for the opportunity to work a dog – ANY dog. 

This dog….I can't say how easy it was.   To hear me say it, it would seem unlikely.  Like an exaggeration.  It was like Toss understood everything being asked of him, all the while fully aware of himself and his influence on the stock.  He checked in with me, when I gently corrected him for getting too close to the stock he checked back in and layed down or stopped.  He is sensitive without being insecure.  He had no reservations about working for me. 

"You need one of these," Dianne told me.

Yeah.  Someday.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  (I love that expression, because its….meaningless in its vagueness)  In the meantime…I love working Pat. And I'm committed to figuring out as much as I can with Scout.

I'm sorry that I won't be around much in the next month to work. 

It's all the fashion to poetry up your dog love I'm told…so here's my contribution:

Pat

He looks into my

eyes,  leans against my leg – Come

by …he humps Away

Saturday, once again, I got lost in the desert.  This seems to
happen fairly regularly.  Yes, I can MAKE maps, and I can FOLLOW them,
but as far as orienteering….no.  Give me 2 trail options and I will
pick the wrong one.  Poor Jen.  We ran for an hour, which was planned,
and  hiked for another hour, which was me and that attention to detail
void again.  Jen trotted behind silently judging me harshly the entire
way.  Upon returning to the car, she ate my egg croissant in 3 violent
bites. She deserved it.  Scout could have ran another 10 miles, no problem. 

Yesterday I worked dogs all day at Dianne's.  I worked Scout, which
is just my penance, and hers.  She is teaching me something.  The only
consistent thing I can say for certain is that communication is often
the most difficult with those to whom you are closest. Novel, yes?  I embrace the Obvious.  I should be able
to get shit through to her, like, "BACK THE FUCK OFF"…but so far it's
mostly "Lie down….here….lie down….here….lie
down….here….NOFUCKNOGODDAMN IT! I WILL TWIST YOUR GODDAMNED SCRAWNY
BLACK NECK YOU LITTLE FREAK!!! lie down….here…."  I still get
nervous working her. I have no confidence. Which is probably half the
problem.  Still, it gets better by small microscopic increments. 
Penance isn't supposed to be satisfying.

Then I worked Dianne's dog 'True'.  She is, in some ways, at about
the same place in training as Scout, learning to drive, but is very
different.  She is very pressure sensitive, but where Scout rushes into
pressure, True backs way off.  She backs off of my pressure and the
sheeps.  Scout doesn't feel my pressure.   Its helpful to work these
two different dogs because its teaching me to respond more to the
situation than to just the dog.  Working with the trained dogs, like
Jen and Pat, has made me pretty good at responding to them and their ability,
which has helped my entry level timing, but it didn't teach me how to
adjust and respond to a variety of situations.  To FEEL pressure as a
physical thing, really.  I don't think I'll really have it until I feel it every time with every dog and can respond without having to force myself to think about it

Pat stayed with me last night in Greenleaf.  I bought him a stuffed
toy and he played with it all night.  Snored in his crate.  I've said it before and will say it again: I love
Pat. 

Today everything about me and working dogs sucked so hard that I fear for the cosmos.

Pat and I had a decent time attempting to shed. We were successful a number of times, but what really was accomplished was that I was able to feel when/where to lay Pat down.  I have a tendency to under flank. To stop Pat as soon as the sheep stop moving, rather anticipate where they will certainly move next as soon as I lift a foot toward them. 

Then I worked Scout.   That time spent on the field with her was excruciating from start to finish, although I am grateful that Dianne made me work through it.   Scout and I both tend to revert to old bad impulses. She pushes, I flail, sheep run, I shout obscenities and consider crying.  We don't deal in 'bubbles' of influence as much as 'froth'….Everything is too much, too close, too fast.  I lie her down and we repeat the process. 

I know with utter certainty that this horrible test of my willpower and ability to stick with something I love in the face of tiny barking adversity will make me a decent handler one day and so…it is good.  The final suggestion from Dianne was that I work Scout in smaller spaces where I can enforce my commands. 

I worked Pat again and was unable to pen.  We circled.  Pat got wider as I got more frustrated. I know the key to Pat and penning is small movement and a lot of lying down. (Him not me).  (But…maybe….I should try the latter.  DIanne clearly would not be surprised.)  Pat was so wide in the end that only the cars on the road boarding Dianne's pasture were aware of his presence. 

I'll go back out on tuesday, if I have a chance. Or Thursday for sure.

Today I worked Scout and Pat.  Pat was simple.  It is clear that the more comfortable and confident I am working him, the more he is working with me.  I wouldn't say that we could kick ass on a trial field, but it's really pleasant working him in Dianne's field. I think the feeling is mutual.  We drove, we penned, we gazed at one another adoringly. 

Scout is hard for me to work because I stopped working her at a point when I really sucked, she really sucked and we both got used to being disappointed by one another.  I used to be really AFRAID to go out onto the field with her because the only things we did correctly, were the accidental things.  Timing that just happened to be appropriate.  Me stumbling and tossing the stick at JUST THE RIGHT TIME.  Her avoiding a golpher hole and flanking nice and wide. Me releasing pressure by crying on the right side of the stock. 

She is easier for me to work now.  I no longer FEAR it.  Last year I hated going out onto the field with her because I wasn't aware of all the ways I effected the outcome.  Or how few things I should TRY to effect in one session.  Intellectually I understand, and did understand 'the bubble' but physically I did not…and still don't have it incorporated into my working with dogs in general in the way that it needs to be in order to really be effective; to not just understand the bubble, but feel it or see it as a physical thing.  Until then it's hard to respond to it in time.  I'm not there with Scout. I am with Pat.  I'm no longer afraid to work Scout, though. I believe that I know enough to make progress.

Dianne was a huge help in, as usual, pointing out the obvious.  

"Why are you letting her chase?"

"Step in FRONT OF HER! USE YOUR PRESSURE!"

I did stand around a lot trying to think my next move into brilliance…and admiring how shiny Scout's coat is…

We are both a project that most people would leave half finished in their garage.  I'm pretty grateful that Dianne is apparently insane.