During my 1.5 hour lunch run (not 1:29:59…because that would be one second less than my goal, which increases constantly and will until I burn out or have an injury…or travel) it occurred to me that:
1) Once again I've allowed myself to become obsessed with stupid shit, like time, and
2) Running is the ONLY activity that I do (that lasts longer than a shower) in which I completely engage.
Everything else in my life is fragmented by the internet, blackberry, etc. Seriously. Email me sometime…Unless I'm running I'll get back to you within 15 minutes. Don't call me though because I hate talking on the phone, usually. The same phone I'll text you back on. If I am talking to you on the phone…I'm also surfing the internet. I can only hear you if you scream periodically.
I'm pretty convinced that this fragmented way I exist has taken its toll on my already ridiculous attention span and, in turn, is a part of why I still fail to progress at dog training/trialing. Especially the trialing, where, at the post I achieve some sort of Zen state of Nothingness while my dog runs amok. Afterward I could tell you what car drove down the highway adjacent to the field and whether Jodi laughed or not….but not where I should have, but didn't, make Pat flank or lie his ass down. It's a problem. As is the fact that for the next few days I won't have time to run, which makes me sane and which I'm addicted to MORE THAN MY INTERNETS.
I have sheep camp for the next 4 days. I've only really trained
with Dianne, so Patrick and Helsley are in for a rare treat indeed. To
say I suck is to degrade the term suck. I'm looking forward to it; I'm dreading it. I'll blog it, but hopefully not during my time on the field because that would be *wrong*….