I just had to get up in front of a group of 50 people, which I *LOATHE*, with 3 others, which is *STUPID*, and present on something RIGHT BEFORE LUNCH, which, unless you can pull off naked sushi, is just asking to be ignored or resented

…which I'm *USED TO*…

I left my phone on vibrate, which I *LOVE* and I got like 6 calls in the space of 10 minutes….which isn't nearly as gratifying as it sounds, because I always jump when my phone goes off unexpectedly, near my kidneys, in my jacket pocket, convinced that one or more of my internal organs is finally staging a coup or I'm a host to some huge internal parasite. At last.

THEN a man who used to be my arch NEMESIS, a tight-ass little dickweed, if I may, but now is a woman and much sweeter, though, sadly, no one you'd want to see naked with sushi all over her hairy little body…not me, anyway, though I'm curious, and hungry….came up to me, ran me down as I was running out of the meeting, before someone could stop me, and said,


Janet used to be Bill when he and I hated one another.  I understand now why she ne he was such a complete and utter asspipe.  All that dyed blonde hair and bad manicure battling to get out.  A small step for Rayon, a giant leap for the Princess Collar.  Sh-fucking-Zam.

"You look great," I said, truthfully. I never saw him smile like she was.  She had a firm hold of my hand, in a good way.  Then my phone went off again, I flinched, so did she and we both went our seperate ways.  Social awkward freaks that we both are and always have been.

I'm just glad my work day is almost over and tonight is GREENLEAF NIGHT.

Tomorrow I'll have a dog post.