There are no fewer than 6 mouse traps up and down the halls leading to my office. My office-mates both have enormous vats of hand sanitizer on their desks, next to pictures of cats and children and plants. I have an indiscernable framed photo of Britney's pixelated Lady Garden (Thanks Cienna!). Everyone knows what it is, but no one wants to talk about it. I feel the same about their children and cats…. My space is already a capsized mess of hard drives, DVD and CDroms, stacks of paper….I have 6 boxes of shit I will never unpack, but have stacked around my desk. The power cords snaking off my desk alone are alarming, even to me.
It's all making them so twitchy. They spritzer their plants as if to ward off my clutter.
Susie has a scented candle, Gena has her goddamned Renuzit plugin.
"We should have Soup Tuesdays! or APPLE CIDER!" Susie clapped, "It would smell so yummy cooking!"
I have never wanted a fetus in a jar as badly as I do right now. Scratch and sniff.
SatansFlaming Hairplugs said:
Of course you know, that I can actually get you a fetus in a jar. (It would be a goat fetus, but I guarantee you at first glance, the effect is exactly the same.
I NEED ONE! If I were to give birth again, I’m convinced it would be to a goat fetus. So is the rest of my family.
I know what you are going through…my office is packing up as we speak…we are moving to a space downtown…I’m about to have 6-8 filing cabinets crammed into my cubicle space…you may never see me again…