This weekend I bought used cowboy boots at an antique store….and a machete from Lowes. Yellow 'pleather' gloves with rubber fingers completed my stylish rural weekend 'outfit'. Suitable for chopping down Scottish Thistle, or a night on the town. I did both. I did leave the machete at home for the latter, but only because I did not think to add a decorative machete belt to my Lowes basket and it is just too showy weilding a shiny new machete while drinking a premium beer like Corona ™.
"There is no such thing," Cienna tells me, "as a 'machete belt'.."
She is bitter to have been less trend-setting in flipflops with pruning shears. No one would try to take pruning shears into a bar. What would be the point? A machete IS a point. Pruning shears are just a seasonal accessory. I think the rule of thumb is not before labor day or after Memorial day. The boots didn't really fit me. BUT they were smooth leather with no place for fox tails to attach. I had to swagger to keep them on my feet. If you are going to buy a machete, I definitely recommend the used cowboy boots, with your pants tucked in. Anyway, enough free fashion advice.
We played beer pong at the WB. Cienna lost her first round and was out. She had to drink most of a pitcher of Loser Beer. I, somehow, won my round, which meant that I didn't have to drink PBR until round 2, which I lost in record time. Jodi was with us, also, but sporting a new cold and not feeling especially well. Not as badly as the barely legal contender who kept having to stop mid-game to puke, once on the floor, but mostly outside, under the stars. Near the air conditioner. He lost, but he gave it his all. Really.
We left the WB after my humiliating loss and drove to Homedale to visit one of their fine drinking establishments. Cienna and I were less impressed than Jodi by the bar we visited. Maybe it was the WB PBR darkening our opinions. But to me, the Wild Rose was more of your regular sleazy bar. It didn't have the cozy local charm of the WB. The Wild Rose serves hard alcohol also and most of the clientelle were sloppy drunk. While I was trendily tipsy. Sure, most of the WB patrons were also drunk, but it was a PBR drunk. And they got there doing an ACTIVITY. Maybe I like the WB because I like Kristi and Jason and John. I've never really been much of a bar person, not since I was underage in Coeurd'Alene. I want to see the WB succeed. It's a bike ride away from GL. I don't need a bar; I do like a place where one can go have a beer and chat it up comfortably.
The Homedale bar did have Karoke and it did seem potentially hilarious, so …there is that.
I don't think I'd need to sheath my machete in Homedale. I think it would be okay to just sort of hold it while I sang, say, 'Helter Skelter' or 'Stand By Your Man'….drinking a jigger.
