Today is the second day of my being a coach for a class teaching technology I haven't used in 10 years. Needless to say it's changed. I warned the course cadre that I was out of my element here by about a decade. That the last GPS unit I used is now in a museum somewhere.
Yesterday by the close of business I felt so worthless and stupid that I briefly considered enrolling in night classes at clown college so that when I showed up again this morning everyone would have their expectations clearly defined for them in my huge squeaky shoes and painted frown. I would carry a mop instead of a map. I would call myself "Giggles" and many would use the term 'ironic' incorrectly. BUT NO ONE WOULD EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN SATELLITE TECHNOLOGY IN GREAT DETAIL.
I even considered, as I always consider, simply not showing up. Hiding. Snapping at anyone who tried to drag me out of my cubicle to participate. I am so much like my dog it's scary.
So, I came in today and so far everything is running smoothly, I've been able to assist a few of the slower learners, answer some of the less technical questions, things are pleasant; and I don't feel like I'm going to have to go home early or squirt water from my nose. I even agreed to go to dinner with everyone. At a Brazilian Restaurant. Sadly, because I don't always, or usually, pay complete attention to conversations around me, even when they are supposed to INVOLVE me, I did misunderstand at first what was being proposed.
"Brazilian?" I asked, looking up from my Blackberry. The alarm of my face was very apparent. I reached instinctively for my eyebrows, badly in need of a tweeze, but illustrative, I felt, of my general policies….
"DINNER, Katy…." Charlie leapt in to clarify, "At a BRAZILIAN RESTAURANT!"
Scout gets her lady parts ransacked tomorrow. I have always intended to spay her. She's not breed-worthy and even if she were, I'm not one to be responsible for filling a womb with anything I can't eventually send to college and/or hope to have someday support me.
So, the surgery needed to happen, but I could have put it off forever. She just seems like a baby to me. That is probably a big part of our problem: My perception of her.
Anyway. I would love to learn to juggle.