Today is the second day of my being a coach for a class teaching technology I haven't used in 10 years. Needless to say it's changed. I warned the course cadre that I was out of my element here by about a decade. That the last GPS unit I used is now in a museum somewhere.
Yesterday by the close of business I felt so worthless and stupid that I briefly considered enrolling in night classes at clown college so that when I showed up again this morning everyone would have their expectations clearly defined for them in my huge squeaky shoes and painted frown. I would carry a mop instead of a map. I would call myself "Giggles" and many would use the term 'ironic' incorrectly. BUT NO ONE WOULD EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN SATELLITE TECHNOLOGY IN GREAT DETAIL.
I even considered, as I always consider, simply not showing up. Hiding. Snapping at anyone who tried to drag me out of my cubicle to participate. I am so much like my dog it's scary.
So, I came in today and so far everything is running smoothly, I've been able to assist a few of the slower learners, answer some of the less technical questions, things are pleasant; and I don't feel like I'm going to have to go home early or squirt water from my nose. I even agreed to go to dinner with everyone. At a Brazilian Restaurant. Sadly, because I don't always, or usually, pay complete attention to conversations around me, even when they are supposed to INVOLVE me, I did misunderstand at first what was being proposed.
"Brazilian?" I asked, looking up from my Blackberry. The alarm of my face was very apparent. I reached instinctively for my eyebrows, badly in need of a tweeze, but illustrative, I felt, of my general policies….
"DINNER, Katy…." Charlie leapt in to clarify, "At a BRAZILIAN RESTAURANT!"
Scout gets her lady parts ransacked tomorrow. I have always intended to spay her. She's not breed-worthy and even if she were, I'm not one to be responsible for filling a womb with anything I can't eventually send to college and/or hope to have someday support me.
So, the surgery needed to happen, but I could have put it off forever. She just seems like a baby to me. That is probably a big part of our problem: My perception of her.
Anyway. I would love to learn to juggle.
Scout will be in great hands tomorrow. Mo just happened to be at Intermountain yesterday getting her rabies vaccine. I forgot to mention to Dr. Dalton that Scout was coming in and to watch out for the smallest black and white border collie that has ever been produced…I can see the Scoutrage now…