Today is the second day of my being a coach for a class teaching technology I haven't used in 10 years.  Needless to say it's changed.   I warned the course cadre that I was out of my element here by about a decade. That the last GPS unit I used is now in a museum somewhere. 

Yesterday by the close of business I felt so worthless and stupid that I briefly considered enrolling in night classes at clown college so that when I showed up again this morning everyone would have their expectations clearly defined for them in my huge squeaky shoes and painted frown.  I would carry a mop instead of a map.  I would call myself "Giggles" and many would use the term 'ironic' incorrectly. BUT NO ONE WOULD EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN SATELLITE TECHNOLOGY IN GREAT DETAIL. 

I even considered, as I always consider, simply not showing up.  Hiding.  Snapping at anyone who tried to drag me out of my cubicle to participate.  I am so much like my dog it's scary. 

So, I came in today and so far everything is running smoothly, I've been able to assist a few of the slower learners, answer some of the less technical questions, things are pleasant; and I don't feel like I'm going to have to go home early or squirt water from my nose.   I even agreed to go to dinner with everyone.  At a Brazilian Restaurant.  Sadly, because I don't always, or usually, pay complete attention to conversations around me, even when they are supposed to INVOLVE me, I did misunderstand at first what was being proposed. 

"Brazilian?" I asked, looking up from my Blackberry. The alarm of my face was very apparent.  I reached instinctively for my eyebrows, badly in need of a tweeze, but illustrative, I felt, of my general policies….

"DINNER, Katy…." Charlie leapt in to clarify, "At a BRAZILIAN RESTAURANT!"

Scout gets her lady parts ransacked tomorrow.   I have always intended to spay her. She's not breed-worthy and even if she were, I'm not one to be responsible for filling a womb with anything I can't eventually send to college and/or hope to have someday support me.  
So, the surgery needed to happen, but I could have put it off forever. She just seems like a baby to me.  That is probably a big part of our problem: My perception of her. 

Anyway. I would love to learn to juggle.

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