I'm supposed to be writing a lesson for the class I'm helping coach in Tucson….2 weeks from today. Thing is, I don't get up in front of people. I prefer to skulk around the edges of large groups. I nod now and then, as encouragement, and participation, if you will. And I'm big on walking purposely from the room if it starts looking like someone might want me to be more involved. My friend Kim will be actually standing up in front of the class and leading the group through this lesson that I am theoretically writing and finishing….today. I had it finished last Friday. Hit the Save key, and got a series of errors which ended with me losing not only the backup version but the original. Yes. Both. I know computers; I know all about temporary files and how SURELY there was something saved somewhere…
No. There wasn't. I have NEVER had my original deleted. I was so pissed off, I left work. Did not come back. This morning has been a series of Other People's Problems, so I haven't yet returned to the lesson.
Kim just called me. She is starting to worry about the time frames. She knows how flipped out I was about losing the finished product on Friday, so she spoke in gentle, soothing tones.
"Hey, Katy, don't stress, I'll just take what you have and we'll work with it…"
Kim is the NICEST person in the world. Some evil part of my tarry black soul me made me respond,
"Well, all I have is 12 pages of REI advertisements and my last email from Human Resources."
"What?" you could almost hear her blinking in confusion.
"Yeah. I think sometimes when you don't actually HAVE anything, it's better to deal in abstracts."
"You're kidding." she sighed, relieved.
"No. …Well, yes. I don't have REI advertisements. I have those deleted from my inbox automatically now."
"Send me what you have."
"I have some IDEAS!"
Kim laughed. I could hear her clutching her inner Buddha as if he were fighting to get away. Silence, breathing, sigh,
"Does it have to be in today?" she asked, trying a new tact.
"No…technically last friday. BUT Clint is getting so desperate that he agreed to buy me how ever many beers I wanted if I'd get it in today….so, you can see its sort of important…."
"Yes." she laughed.
Clint is our Course Director. He is a big ole good natured doofus from Texas. He loves to drink. He laughs like this: "HE HE HE HE" really high pitched and often. His face turns beat red when I talk about dolphin/human sex. It's a great tool.
"Anyway, what I have are a fist full of screen shots. The software doing its thing, next page, a map, next page more software stuff…not actually the software we'll be using but it made good color graphics and I only had to use my index finger and the PRINT SCREEN button. MY idea is that this all hinges on YOU, the TEACHER. if you wear something sultry and just jiggle around a lot. I mean REALLY SHAKE IT, KIM, SHAKE IT LIKE IT WON'T SHAKE OFF….it won't matter what you're saying."
Our lesson is an hour and a half. That's like a good day at the gym. She should thank me, really.
Greenleaf house closes in a little over an hour.