Sometimes I think what I really need to launch me into Stock Dog Greatness is another accessory.  Sure, I have a stock wand (I love that term 'wand' …it brings to mind something magic happening when I wield it just so, something other than Dianne appearing and instructing me sternly for the hundred and seventh time (an estimate) to quit waving "that thing" around and "go somewhere"…  One of us is wrong about Wand Usage or the name is a mean-spirited coincidence)

Last night I dug out the Whistle that Jodi gave to me a few weeks ago. It's bright red and plastic and as far as I can tell completely utterly useless.  I hope I'm right about what I have here…about what I have been putting in my mouth, rolling around and alarming man and beast with it's spittle laden half-squeaks.  I assume it's a whistle.  Looks like a cheaper version of what's hanging around everyone's neck anyway.  Still, mine could be a contraceptive device…Perhaps would be better used as one.  Unlike when other people whistle, Scout seems indifferent at best to my attempts; idly curious, maybe, but unmoved.  She looks at me as if I were a cat's fart.  Nay, lower and less interesting than a feline's flatulence.  Still, something from a dark nether zone of a loathed yarn-loving creature is as close as my words can come to the noise that I have thus far replicated.
Eric asked me, at one point, if I could "do that outside…."

Meanwhile the cat continued to lick it's ass on our kitchen counter.  Yeah. Harkening of Greatness, my whistling anus.

Yes, its true that my dog is rarely 10 feet from my side and that conversational wheedling works just fine…or as fine as anything…but there is something Extra Cool about having a whistle around your neck…as if to say, "I am a professional.  MY dog works so far from my side that I need something more shrill than my natural screech to communicate with her across the open fields…"

Sadly, it's going to take magic more powerful than the Wand or the Whistle can conjure to get me to where I need to be.  I need a kennel name.

Advertisements