Those who know me well know that I am a as liberal as hot K-Y and edible boxer shorts. (Et tu, Echo?) And that I love to make up expressions that only half work to illustrate some vague or confusing point.
I have friends, however, of many political persuasions. My own brother, to whom I am very close, was republican up until a few years ago. (Coincidentally around the time that he quit drinking, though the two things are not connected, I'm sure. Not as certain about his revelation that the Dinosaurs didn't walk with Jesus….not in those sandals. Just kidding! I go too far…he never thought…not Jesus… Moses, maybe…where did I put that point?…)
I can talk politics, religion, sex, etc., with some people, no matter what they believe and what I believe, and some people I can barely discuss the weather without a bitter argument ensuing about Whose Fault the weather is, what constitutes good weather vs bad, why I'm full of wishful thinking shit about snow being pretty and summer being good for getting up early in, and who our mother loves most. (Me. Or Chris. He's the funniest.)
Okay. It's my sister. I can't talk to my sister, the original Judy…or OJ as I'll call her for conservation of key strokes. OJ is so liberal, that she's a fascist. No shit. She starts talking in that nasal voice of hers on politics and I find myself to the right side of Phyllis Schlafly, that addled old crone from the 60's who believed that women should be shackled to the stove with their Husband Pleasin' straps tight enough to prevent too much circulation to the brain.
I find myself defending the weirdest things. Stuff I don't for a second believe, but I just can't take the patronizing tone. I'm like 7 years old again. ("No! I had more fun on vacation!")
"Oh, I absolutely think we should clear cut the National Forests. All of them. We need more parking."
"Of course the Rapture is coming and I'm driving the perfect car to unman for it. I just hope we get our new WalMart first…."
"Marijuana should be illegal except in cases where it's used to prevent abortion, which is worse, or immigration."
"I think I'll take up casserolery so I won't find myself bored and using my brain."
What does this have to do with dogs? Nothing. It's covered in my 'mostly' clause at the top of the blog.
My sister accused the aging Trix, our mother, of being confused when she said that she didn't like Bill Maher making fun of religion. My mother loves religion. Catholic religion. She likes the snacks afterward. She doesn't have sex anymore. The weather is mostly inconvenient. Leave the poor little dear alone, I say.
I'm sending a donation, in my sister's name, to the Lake Country Chapter of Friends of NRA. I'm entering her in the gun raffle. I have a good feeling about that. I've ordered her a nice 6 ft inflatable cross, too. It would be nice if they were delivered together. In time for the Holidays…